When It Doesn’ t Work
Change can happen surprisingly fast, but when it doesn’t work, how come?
Most people are unaware of psychological methods that can alter the way a person feels, often in just minutes. That is mostly what this website is about…alerting people to useful things. A combination of these things can make grief and loss so much easier.
Firstly, some proof of what I mean. Steve Andreas has posted a couple of videos on Youtube showing how he eliminated a woman’s twenty year phobia of bees in 9 minutes.
He then posted his follow up interview with Lori 25 years later, giving evidence that it was effective.
Sometimes these techniques do not work!? Why not?
A Story to Explain
When I was first learning these methods, my trainer, Jill, told a story of a woman who came to see her with agoraphobia. She was house-bound, for fear of recurring panic attacks. Jill clarified what her client wanted, tried the appropriate techniques, to no avail.
The client wanted to be free of her panic attacks, and she wanted to return to work, be able to go shopping and socialise again. She had been living a normal life. Jill asked the question, “If you resolve your agoraphobia and can go places again, will there be any problem with that?”
This is enquiring if there is any benefit, in having the problem. It is not presupposing the person ‘wants to have the problem,’ and consequently is deliberately malingering. Instead, it is seeking to understand if there is some good reason, or necessity, that her deeper self (or unconscious mind) is continuing the problem.
At first the client dismissed the idea that there would be any problem without her agoraphobia. Continuing to search, Jill learned that this woman expected to return to her normal routines. However, it transpired that the agoraphobia only began after this woman had been raped. She lived close to the central business district. Each morning she would walk through the parklands by herself to work; and did the reverse after work. That was where she had been raped, and she was making no provision to keep herself safe.
When this was pointed out, she made appropriate decisions for travel to work, and committed herself to her safety, the technique was reapplied and immediately was successful.
This illustrates the internal wisdom of our unconscious mind, which can sometimes appear to be a nuisance when in fact it is an ally.
And with Grief
Similarly the techniques that help with grief, may also run up against human complexities, and need adjustment to achieve the expected benefit. There are only so many ways of using our internal images and sounds/words to generate painful feelings of loss. So it’s likely a person can be shown how to alleviate their pain.